


Hulk Feelings

by Jake_Matthews



Series: Avengers One Shots [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Hulk Feels, Hulk Needs a Hug, Hulk Smash, M/M, POV Bruce Banner, POV Hulk, Tony Stark Does What He Wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4965892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jake_Matthews/pseuds/Jake_Matthews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After defeating Loki and the Chitauri, Bruce finds himself plagued by memories of the other guy. And with those memories come some rather confusing feelings...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hulk Feelings

"And Hulk? Smash." Hulk like that plan. Hulk like smash. Hulk jump and climb buildings to smash puny aliens.

Hulk smash through office. Puny humans run from Hulk.

Hulk smash puny aliens on back of big alien. Puny Hammer-god fight puny aliens with Hulk. Hulk stab big alien with armour from big alien back. Puny Hammer-god smash armour with Hammer.

Hulk smash puny Hammer-god.

Hulk smash all the puny aliens.

Hulk smash into Tower. Puny Sceptre-god talk to Hulk.

"Enough! You are, all of you, beneath me! I am a god you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by-"

Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk smash puny Sceptre-god. Hulk speak, "Puny god."

Hulk smash more puny aliens. Hulk see Iron Man fly into hole in sky. Hulk see Iron Man fall from hole. Iron Man not fly anymore. Hulk worry. Iron Man Hulk friend. Iron Man fall very fast. Hulk jump and catch Iron Man. Hulk land near puny Hammer-god and puny Shield-Captain. Hulk put Iron Man on ground. Puny Shield-Captain pull Iron Man mask off. Iron Man not breathe. _Iron Man not breathe._ Iron Man Hulk friend. Iron Man good friend. Iron Man not breathe, Iron Man not live? Iron Man leave Hulk? Iron Man _not_ leave Hulk! Iron Man leave Hulk make Hulk angry. Hulk get very angry. Hulk roar. Iron Man wake up. Hulk happy.

\- - - -

I rarely remember much from the other guy. Normally when I do remember something, it's just flashes. Moments of no longer than a few seconds. And memories of how the other guy was feeling have never happened before. I didn't realise the other guy had emotions... but he did. He was worried when Tony fell, scared when he wouldn't wake up, _angry_ that Tony might not wake up, and then happy when he did. I could even vaguely remember how the other guy had been referring to Thor, Steve and Tony in his head. Thor and Steve had both been given names based on their primary weapon and their... rank, I suppose is the best word. But Tony... he thought of Tony as Iron Man. In a way, I suppose, that's pretty much the same as how the other guy was thinking of the others, but that's not how it feels... And the other guy recognised Iron Man as being his friend...

The door slammed loudly behind me, bringing me back to the present with a start. I jumped slightly, and Tony frowned, turning to whoever had just walked in.

"Hey, watch it with that door, don't wanna set off poor Brucie here, do you?" He looked very accusing, but his tone was joking. I think. It can be hard to tell with Tony.

"You don't want to set me off? I thought you were 'a huge fan' of the way I turn into 'an enormous green rage-monster'?" Tony turned and grinned at me.

"Yeah, but I just finished fixing the place up after you - sorry, 'the other guy' - Hulk-smashed Loki in here. Don't want it getting destroyed again so soon." I smiled, and turned to see who had slammed the door. It was Steve. He was smiling slightly, shaking his head.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I'm going for pizza with Nat and Clint, d'you wanna come too?"

"No thanks, Cap, we're working right now. Right Brucie?"

"Yeah, working..." I looked at the screens in front of me. Apparently Tony kept going while I was lost in thought, remembering the other guy... I tried not to let it show that I had no idea what I was looking at anymore. I cleared my throat and turned back to Steve, still standing awkwardly by the door. "Sorry Steve, but thanks for the offer." He pouted.

"As, c'mon guys, please? Don't make me be a third wheel with them." I raised an eyebrow.

"Third wheel? I don't think Nat and Clint are like that..."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they don't..." Tony paused and fixed Steve with a strange expression. "...fondue." What?

Steve looked at Tony for a moment, then said, "I can't believe Howard told you about that." Tony smirked.

"It was his way of telling me how monumentally stupid people can be - nobody's perfect, or something... I dunno, never really paid attention to what his stories were supposed to be telling me. But yeah, we can't come out for pizza right now."

"Alright, see you guys later." He paused halfway out the door. "Oh, and Bruce? Pepper wants us to make sure Tony's not up all night working. I can leave that job with you, right?" I heard Tony make a small noise of protest behind me and couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face.

"Yeah, I'll make sure he gets some sleep. Bye, Steve."

"Bye." He left, and I turned back to Tony.

"Sooo...." I looked down at the screens, trying to make sense of them quickly so Tony wouldn't realise I'd zoned out. I hoped that Tony would pick up where he left off, but he remained silent. I glanced up to see him grinning at me. There was something about that look... Looking back at the screens I realised what it was. It was nonsense. Tony had noticed me zoning out and put a load of gibberish on the screen to mess with me. That's Tony for you. I pushed the screens away and put my head in my hands. "You realised I wasn't listening then."

"You were completely out of it for about twenty minutes. Of course I noticed. You fancy sharing these thoughts that are apparently more interesting than anything I have to say?" The way he said that last sentence, it was so 'There is nothing more important than me'... so Tony...

"It's nothing really..." That look on his face, he clearly didn't believe me. He knew something was up. I let out a sigh, then began again. "Okay it's something... It's about the other guy. I've been remembering things from the fight... Normally I only get brief flashes, and there's normally a trigger for them, like a noise that brings back memories of gunfire and explosions directed at the other guy... This is completely different. It's... There are thoughts, and... and feelings... I still can't remember everything..." I trailed off, seeing Tony's shocked expression and the way he'd suddenly shot up in interest.

"Did you say _feelings_? The other guy has feelings?" I nodded, smiling as I understood his shock.

"Yeah, it's news to me too... But there were definitely feelings. He was... happy... when Steve told him to smash... And when you..." I knew this was could be a sensitive subject for Tony, so I paused to consider my words, not wanting to panic him. "After the portal closed, the other guy was... worried... and upset at the idea that you might... He recognised you as a friend, and the idea of losing you... If you hadn't woken up when you did he would probably have made quite a mess... or rather, added to the mess already there..." I gave a wry smile and looked at Tony to see what he thought. It was a lot to take in, and he was slow to reply, clearly struggling to process the information.

Eventually he began, "So... the Hulk cares about me?"

I winced slightly at the word 'Hulk', but I let it slide. Now was not the time to argue with him over the other guy's name. "Yeah, he does... And when I say he recognised you as a friend, I mean the way he was thinking about you was different to how he thought about Cap and Thor... He saw them as... allies, I guess. He was open to working with them, following Cap's orders... but he also didn't see a problem with hitting Thor... He had his own...names for them, I suppose... but he called you Iron Man. You didn't even get a 'puny'. He called everyone puny, but not you..." I trailed off again, watching Tony's reaction carefully. He was frowning slightly, I think he was still trying to process the idea that the other guy cared about him. I waited for a moment, then tentatively asked, "...Tony? You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah... I just... It's a lot to take in... Uhh... What were the names he had for Thor and Steve? Just out of... curiosity..."

"Thor was 'puny Hammer-god' and Steve was 'puny Shield-Captain'... and I think he thought of Loki as 'puny Sceptre-god' - that's kinda surprising too... I didn't think his vocabulary was sophisticated enough to include 'sceptre'." Tony nodded absently, clearly not focused on the conversation at all. I was getting worried. "Tony? You sure you're okay? You just seem a little... quiet." Really, it was a lot more than just him being quiet, but that was just the easiest way to phrase it. Tony was obviously not fine, but getting him to talk about it... even Pepper struggles at times, and she's a lot more experienced in this area than I am. More experienced with Tony... who's still not saying anything. He's just looking at me. Just staring right at me... Why is he looking at me like that... He looks thoughtful, like he's just had an idea and he's mulling it over... But an idea about what? It seems kinda serious from that look... What's he doing? Is he...?

Tony's lips crashed against mine. He caught my bottom lip between his and sucked it gently, giving it a slight nip with his teeth before releasing it. His tongue slid into my mouth and... Oh god... Damn he's a good kisser. Of course he's a good kisser, he's Tony goddamn Stark. He's a playboy... and he's with Pepper... Shit... What the hell am I doing? I'm kissing him back, I shouldn't be doing that! He's in a relationship, a pretty serious one, and here I am making out with him in the lab. _I'm making out with Tony Stark. In his lab..._ This is big. This is just... wow. This is so unlike me. I don't do this kind of thing. Not normally... but I guess nothing has been normal since the other guy came along. And - oh man this is... indescribable... I've never felt anything like this... Tony's tongue dancing with my own... His hand running through my hair... My hand in his hair, my other hand on his elbow... Where's his other hand? It's... Oh dear god...

"Tony, no. Stop." I pushed him away, grabbing the hand that had been reaching for my belt. Tony pouted at me. He looks so adorable like that... No. I will not give in to him. I shook my head, getting up from the workbench and backing away. "Tony, you're with Pepper right now... and even if you weren't... We can't do this, Tone. Tony." I corrected myself instantly, but he'd heard the affectionate nickname, he knew I wasn't really that mad at him. He smirked, then looked up at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"No, Tony. We are not doing this. Not now, not ever." I kept backing away, heading for the door as I spoke. When I reached it, I glanced down at the floor of the lab and whispered, "I'm sorry, Tone." Then I slipped out the door and ran. I didn't look back.

\- - - -

The Himalayas. A fairly remote location, far enough from Tony to keep him safe. Safe from the other guy. Safe from me. After four months of running from him after that kiss, four months in which the other guy had managed to make two appearances, I was in a pretty bad way. From what I could tell, the other guy hadn't hurt anybody, but the memories i was getting from him were driving me insane.

_Hulk want Iron Man! Iron Man Hulk friend! Why Hulk run from Iron Man?_

You know why, you'll hurt him. You could kill him. I can't let that happen to Tony.

_Hulk miss Iron Man. Hulk Iron Man friend. Hulk save Iron Man. Why Hulk run?_

It's for the best. If I get involved with Tony, and something goes wrong, I'll get angry, you'll hurt him, and I will never forgive myself. We - _I_ am staying away. And I will not give in to you again. There are innocent people around who could get hurt. You could try to take me back to Tony, and I am not going down that road!

_Hulk not hurt Iron Man. Hulk never hurt Iron Man. Hulk Iron Man friend. Iron Man Hulk friend. Where Iron Man? Why Hulk run?_

Tony is back home, safe from enormous green rage monsters, and I am running to keep it that way. If you are really Iron Man's friend, you should be doing the same you -

I'm having an argument with my memories. I am actually going insane aren't I? Maybe I went insane a long time ago... I mean, turning into a monster, a man in a flying suit of armour, a super-soldier from the 1940s, Norse Gods, aliens coming through a portal over New York... The imaginings of a crazy person. Well that's it then. I'm insane. I've gone insane. I'm trapped in a fantasy nightmare world I created for myself. In my imagination.

_Hulk want Iron Man. Iron Man want Hulk? Iron Man miss Hulk?_

I don't know if Tony misses us - me - you - what? I don't know. This is all real, isn't it. Oh god, it's real. I'm not insane. I'm a monster. I'm a disgusting, terrifying monster! I do nothing but destroy. People and buildings and cars and homes - I destroyed all of it! No... I smashed it all. I can smash these trees, and I can climb this mountain and smash the rocks. I am a monster, and I smash everything!

Hulk smash trees. Puny birds fly away. Hulk roar at puny birds. Hulk smash more trees. Hulk climb mountain. Hulk smash rocks. Hulk pick up tree and smash against rock.

Hulk sad. Hulk hurting. Hulk miss Iron Man. Hulk want Iron Man back.

Hulk roar. Hulk throw tree. Hulk not know where Iron Man is. Hulk find Iron Man. Hulk search. Hulk run and climb and smash and search. Hulk roar.

"Iron Man!" Hulk voice loud. Hulk voice echo. Hulk smile. Hulk have idea. Hulk climb high. Hulk roar, "Iron Man!" Hulk wait. Hulk roar and Hulk wait.

"Iron Man!"

"Calm down, buddy, I'm here. I heard you the first time you know. Would have been here sooner, but, you know, quite a long flight." Iron Man behind Hulk. Iron Man flying. Iron Man shiny. Iron Man _here_. Iron Man found Hulk. Hulk leap from mountain and grab at Iron Man. Iron Man dodge. Hulk fall. Iron Man fly down.

"Woah, big guy, careful!" Iron Man scared? Iron Man scared of Hulk? Why Iron Man scared of Hulk? Hulk Iron Man friend.

Hulk stand up. Hulk step close to Iron Man. Hulk open arms wide. Iron Man look at Hulk.

"You want a hug?" Hulk nod. "Okay, but careful. This armour's not strong enough to stop you accidentally crushing me. Brucie and I never got to finish designing one that could, and I need his help for it. He's the expert." Hulk hug Iron Man. Hulk happy. Iron Man keep talking. Hulk not listen. Hulk very happy. Hulk have Iron Man back.

\- - - -

"Uurrgghh..." Where am I? What did the other guy do? I can't remember...

I'm in a cave. It... it looks like the one I've been staying in. So I'm still in the Himalayas? Did I finally confuse the other guy enough he didn't leave to try and find Iron Man? Surely not...

I can't move... I'm not alone in the cave. There's another person here, sleeping beside me. On top of me. Curled against me. I can't tell from this angle who it is...

Raising my head slightly, ignoring the headache akin to a very severe hangover, I glanced around the cave. The suit. Tony's suit. It's Tony who's in the cave with me. Oh god...

Apparently, looking around was too much movement. Tony stirred on my chest, clenching his fists against my bare skin and trying to bury his head in his pillow. Then he realised the position he was in. Slowly he raised his head to look at me. His hair stuck up all over the place, and he appeared bleary-eyed. He blinked a few times before focusing on my face and smiling at me.

"Mornin' Brucie." He looked me up and down. "Now this is a sight I wouldn't mind waking up to more often." He had that cheeky smirk on his face. Damn that's hot. "So big guy... how much of last night do you remember?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes, but at the same time he seemed concerned. Like he wanted me to remember last night but he wasn't sure if it would actually be a good thing for me to remember what happened.

"I don't remember anything really... I was arguing with... with memories from how the other guy was feeling the last couple times I let him out. Like I'd remember him not understanding why I'd left, and asserting that you were his friend, and I'd try and argue the point with him, even though it was just a memory, and he... is not a reasonable creature. But I was arguing... and I started thinking about whether or not I might be going insane... and then..."

"You Hulked out." Tony got a pretty stern look for that. Or at least the closest I could get to a stern look five minutes after waking up from sleeping in a cave all night with Tony asleep on my bare chest. Why was Tony asleep on me? Does that mean he fell asleep on Hulk?

"Tony, did you fall asleep on the Hu- the other guy?" He heard it. I can see it in his eyes, he heard my slip-up. He smirked at me, and it took every ounce of my willpower to not give away to him how sexy that look is on him. And given how he was sprawled across me, he would have known pretty quick if I'd let it show. I glared at him, and he decided to let my slip-up slide.

"Yeah, I fell asleep on him. I understand why you ran now, you were scared he'd hurt me. But he didn't. He was so careful with me. The first thing he wanted to do when I showed up was hug. That was... terrrifying at first... but then I realised he wasn't going to hurt me and I relaxed and... it was a pretty good hug." Despite all my worries about what the other guy could have done to Tony, with the look on his face and the way he was talking, I couldn't hold back my smile. He smiled back at me. "He brought me up here and sat down and just cuddled me for a while. I spoke to him, but I don't think he really took in a lot of what I said. I decided to take the suit off because I was tired, and sleeping in the suit is not all that comfortable. I need to see if there's anything I can do to fix that." I bit back a laugh there. He looked at me with the closest he could get to a stern look, but then carried on talking. "I was going to sleep away from the Hulk, but he wouldn't have it. He insisted on cuddling me as I fell asleep. I guess he fell asleep too, and then... changed back." Tony smiled at me, then lay his head back down on my chest. Gently, I tried to push him off, and he looked up and pouted at me.

"Tony, I'm cold. I've got some spare shirts in that bag in the corner, I want to put one on." He kept pouting, so I added, "You can go back to sleep on me as soon as I've got a shirt on Tony, I promise." He let out an over-dramatic sigh and rolled off of me. I glanced at him as I walked over to the bag, and saw him propped up on his elbow, watching me. Pulling a shirt out and slipping it on, I asked, trying to stay casual, "Are you checking me out, Tony?"

"Hell yeah, I am. You're gorgeous. Why wouldn't I check you out?" I just shook my head and made my way back over to where he was lying. I grabbed a couple of blankets too, to make the 'bed' a little more comfortable for us. As we snuggled down together, Tony spoke up again. "Hey, Bruce?"

"What, Tony?"

"Are you gonna come back home with me later? Will you stay?"

"Are you asking me to move in with you, Tony?"

"Sorta... I'm lonely since Pepper left... Please, Brucie?"

"Yeah, I'll come home with you. And I'll stay as long as you want me. Now go back to sleep."

"Mmm... I love you, Brucie."

"I love you too Tone." I placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head, and together we drifted off to sleep.


End file.
